Invest in alternative therapy training: the miracle that is Rearology

The Irish Rearology Foundation is seeking funds to expand its training programme so that there will be enough practitioners to satisfy demand in Ireland. A later phase will see the ancient Irish practice of Rearology go international.

Rearology explained
This ancient holistic therapy is mentioned in the Táin and many of the Tales of The Red Branch Cycle. In later years scholars have argued that Pádraig Pearse, Peig Sayers, Eamon DeValera and others could have been helped by a qualified practitioner and the course of modern Ireland might have been changed.

Energy lines run throughout the body and, as any Reflexologist will tell you, they can be accessed at pressure points which route back to particular organs and indeed to the brain. That is to say, in reflexology pressure applied to known points on the feet and hands can unblock energy and improve conditions in, say, the heart or liver.

Rearology teaches that the most effective pressure points appear in the buttocks. Two advantages accrue. Firstly, the larger area makes location of the points easier and requires less accuracy. This is important for the beginner or student Rearologist. Secondly, the increased area admits far more pressure points and therefore treatment for a greater range of maladies, especially those of the mind or spirit.

All students taking a course will receive careful, supportive tuition in pathways, physiology and ethics. Once it is established that they are of sufficient merit, they will be initiated into the lore and given a coloured chart of the pressure points in the buttocks.

On completion of the course they will get their steel-toed therapeutic boots.

A phrase quick to the lips of any Irish person today reflects a deep, ethnic awareness of this ancient therapy. That is to say, while the full significance would not be in the conscious mind of the average Irish person, it remains in the Gaelic race memory and appears in everyday language – even in English. Thus when the Irish person says, “What he/she needs is a good kick in the arse”, the emphasis is on “good” and the reference is to Rearology. A well placed kick can cure many of the problems on which many reflexologists and other therapists are forced to labour for months.

The therapeutic boots help too and their cost is included in the tuition fee.

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7 Responses

  1. Where can I buy the coloured chart, or even better a colour-by-numbers version as this would satisfy two of my current hobbies?

  2. The chart cannot be bought separately. It is supplied as part of the course. Having unqualified people in possession of such information is an unsettling thought. It would encourage indiscriminate, ignorant, misplaced arse kicking and perhaps create deep seated problems.

    Colour by numbers is possibly a good idea, a learning aide. It will be referred to R&D.

  3. I am a stupid wally. Hurrah, this is awesome, I will need some pairs of those boots, I hope they come with sparkles.

    • I’m getting cross! No one can have either colour charts or boots without doing the course. I hardly need to spell out the dangers of a good kick in the wrong part of the arse.

      Sparkly boots!!! Certainly not. Complementary therapy is a serious calling and we can’t have practitioners giving therapeutic kicks to to the arse while wearing boots that would cause sufferers to doubt the practitioner’s seriousness.

  4. I have heard Juicey Cute Hore do a good boot can you confirm that this would be a suitable for performing rearology at an advanced level..?

  5. This is commercially sensitive information but you are obviously well-informed. It is true that JCH have been in negotiations to supply designer therapeutic boots. However, the Foundation is concerned that while appearance is important, rearology is not to be considered flippant. If designer TBs could be restricted to experienced practitioners, the Foundation would be happy to endorse them.

  6. Bishop Brennan springs to mind 🙂

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